JEWELLE TAN

Garden

Just the other day, my husband commented that one of my plant looked like it is dying.

It was a blow to my gardening confidence since just a few weeks ago, a neighbourhood cat brutally mauled one of my flower in a pot.

It was perhaps retaliating because I hid a mat it used (without permission) as a scratching pad. Insurance company like the Blue Cross NC should extend their coverage for incidents like this!

To make things worse, my daughters would nonchalantly pick the leaves and flowers of the few pots which shared their outdoor play area.

“I need leaves for my tea party”, said child no. 1; “It’s flowers for my hair”, said daughter no. 2; and “Ta-Ta!” (Translation : “I just feel like it!”), is of course, child no. 3 who is not yet articulate but no less adventurous.

I wonder how soon I could get my parents, who helped me set up my garden (only!) late last year, to come over for repair work, without appearing desperate.

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Weekend Kids

There was a reader’s letter in a magazine from a mother who lamented the fact that her child is more attached to his grandmother, who cares for him on weekdays (his parents brought him home only on weekends).

This reminded me of a boy who is raised by an aunt because his parents are working in another state since he was a baby. Now that he is articulate, he is able to express that although he receives great caring and love from his aunt, he wishes that his parents are with him, not elsewhere working on cad drawing or other more “important” jobs.

It is very tempting to judge these parents harshly. But surely they have good reasons.

Instead, I’ll just remind myself to be grateful everyday that my family live as one. That it is me that my kids can find first thing in the morning and kiss goodnight to at every bedtime. I give thanks that I can walk across the landing to check on them in the middle of the night, every night. I am at ease knowing that they are safe under my roof.

And no prospect of earning for a more secured life will make me consider leaving my children, at these age when they are still very dependent, even for one day.

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Hair

Once I saw a lady neighbour walking to her car in spiky heels, skirt and long hair blowing freely - and attractively - in the wind. My hand instinctively reached for my hair only to be reminded that it is short - again!

But no matter how appealing the thought of walking or crossing the road, with long luscious hair flowing in the wind, attracting ego-boosting attention, the fact is - long hair is not meant for someone like me.

Not when crossing the road or walking under the sun is usually when I send my kids to school - and that involves a passenger perched on the hip, carrying an equally heavy back-pack while “herding” two extra tag-alongs to move quickly and carefully.

Long hair, no matter what amazing style I may have, means strands lashing on my daughter’s face or worse, something extra for her to pull, not a scene to be seen on the street.

So even though long hair that spells utter feminine will have to wait, at least I don’t ever need to read any diet pill reviews or worry if I am getting enough exercise - not when I lug around a”barbell” worth 10 kg every day.

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Commuting

Usually on a weekday, there are a lot of traffic between Bandar Seri Begawan and the towns in Belait districts (Kuala Belait and Seria).

There are many who chose to stay in one town and work in another - despite having to commute more than 1 hour per trip, daily. Actually it is not a problem here since the road is good - smooth and traffic is fast flowing most of the way.

It can be an issue for those who works overtime or whose schedule is unpredicted. For families who are used to having dinner together, it can be hard to only be able to do that on weekends. But this is something which everyone can get used to after a while.

Besides, having a long peaceful drive after a stressful day at work is therapeutic and I am sure many look forward to their journey home most days.

I know I do too - if I happened to drive without my two-legged fat-busting passengers, more potent than anything like phosphacore (times 3).

As it is, whenever we commute between our homes and I am not driving, I did what anyone in the right mind would do when faced with demands and barrage of questions. Sleep.

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Silence

Once, as I was lulled by the sound of my knife hitting the chopping board, I realised how quiet my house was.

Two of my kids were in school and my youngest child was napping. No noise came from the television as I don’t leave it on when nobody is watching. There  was no radio or CD playing because I could not be bothered to spend 5 mins out of the short time that I had then to switch it on.

But I enjoyed the silence.

With 3 young kids, it is hard not to appreciate the few moments of silence that I get in a day. With silence comes less demands for objects, attentions, affection, information and everything else that my kids need (not ephedra diet pills of course).

And as much as they tax my energy and patience, I actually prefered having them home, endure the noisy and boisterious moments of them being kids - as there are always ways to sneak in a few moments of rejuvenating silence.

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