Jewelle Tan Personally

Last night was the first time that Eu performed in public.

Her dance show with 12 of her classmates was part of last night’s program held in conjunction with His Majesty’s 62nd birthday celebration, together with at least 15 other numbers from her school ranging from the Kindergarten, Primary to Secondary classes.

Earlier in the week, we had a chicken pox scare which threatened to bring down at least 3 of the dancing troupe members (Eu included), but luckily the performance evening arrived with a perfect show time weather and all the children in high spirits.

Excited parents made-up their kids in full glamour - on top of their already extravagant costumes, which my mother in law claimed was a copy of costume from western China.

While I fixed Eu’s thankfully-long-enough hair myself, one mother confided that she sent her daughter to the saloon to have her hair fixed twice. Later as I was touching up on Eu’s lipstick, which she managed to lick clean along the 30 mins drive from home, another boy gleefully told me (with a wide grin and several missing teeth), “I also have lipstick!”.

For the record, he also had blusher, eye shadows and spiky-gelled hair full of glitters!

But although the weather was perfect and the kids were eager to perform - with none of them having last minute stage frights seeing the crowd - technical problems plagued their show.

Billed to be the first show, Eu and her friends only managed to appear as the 8th or 9th show - about an hour after their frazzled teacher finally returned from having rushed back to the school to resolve some problems. But although she arrived and they finally went on stage, luck was still not on their side.

In the end, Eu’s class “Drum Dance” was performed with NO MUSIC.

While the rest of the parents and myself were slightly disappointed that their show was performed in silence, it was heartwarming to see all the kids did their steps as if nothing was wrong.

All complete with smiling and happy faces.

To this I say kudos to their teacher who trained these children so well that there was no disorientation and no confusion. I was lucky to join them once for a full-dress rehearsal and they were the only class which rehearsed twice - and that to me was a clear show of dedication by their teacher. Glitches can happen to anyone but what differentiate an ordinary and exceptional troupe and trainer was what they are able to do when things did not go as planned - which they proved to us that night.

As they were leaving the stage, we could even forget that they had danced without music from their excited faces and exaggerated goodbye gestures.

It might not have been the ending to her first performance that we had envisioned, but Eu had fun, she was happy and it was obvious that she and her friends were very pleased with themselves.

As with the other parents, despite the unfortunate glitch, we are thankful that her teacher gave Eu this experience and we are indeed very proud of our daughter.

When I tell others that I get my kids ready to be in bed by 8 pm, the usual reactions would be “Why so early? or “Let them play a while more!”.

And when I hear parents who say “They will sleep when they are sleepy” and whose small kids stay up beyond 10 pm or even more interesting, as one parent told me, “Sometimes we sleep earlier than him (their 4 years old son)”, I can only say that these parents must have tremendous amount of patience - which I clearly do NOT have!

Because although it’s supposedly good to get kids to sleep no later than 8pm, my kids are sent to bed early more for my sanity.

We’ve trained Eu (4 years old now) since she was a few months old and Qi (2 years old now) since she was born that by 8 pm, it is bedtime. It used to be as early as 5pm for Qi when she was an infant but we’ve adjusted the time gradually as they grew older.

And if you’re one of those who’d ask me “WHY!” - here’s my reasons.

Peace Time For ME

I try to go to bed no later than 11 pm and having a few hours to myself when they are in bed is a godsend.

I cannot imagine how some working moms do it - coming back from a full day work and having to endure several more hours of chaos before they can have some peace and quiet.

Peace Time For My SPOUSE

It is only fair that my husband should get a few hours at home to relax after he comes back from work - after a reasonable time spent with the kids of course. And this is even more important if he works in a stressful environment.

I do know of some non-working wives who think that as soon as their husbands are home from work, they should look after the kids - when they could just be sent to bed and get everyone the rest that they deserve.

Peace Time For US

Perhaps because we are careful with what to say to each other when we’re around the kids that we look forward to the few hours at the end of the day when it’s just the two of us and we can let our guards down.

We can chat, tell naughty jokes, discuss or even argue without being judged by the kids.

Or being able to enjoy the silence as we sit and read together.

Or having the luxury of eating midnight supper without a “Can I have some!” by one of the kids.

Of course, different parents have different standard to what is a healthy family environment.

This post is not to judge parents whose idea of suitable bedtime for small kids is opposite to ours - we as parents make our own decisions on what is right or wrong and important or irrelevant that are right for our lifestyle and personality.

This post is meant to share, from our own personal perspectives, that if parents can train their kids to sleep early, it is actually good the parents themselves.